A Lifelong Dream

On Tuesday afternoon, I completed my goal for the month--to write a 50,000 word novel in 31 days. 224 pages. Hours and hours of writing, in Panera, the car, my bed, and curled in a blanket on the couch at 6 in the morning.

Typing those last few words felt exhilarating. Almost as good as the feeling of giving birth (and I guess it is kind of like bringing in a new life--one main character, a few strong supporting characters, and a dozen other little bits of lives were brought to life this last month.)

I've been on a high the last couple days. I've been writing since I was about 10, but I've only ever finished two long pieces before this, and the last novel was when I was about 12. (Incidentally, Bean found that one in a box and read it last year and said she really liked it. I haven't been brave enough to read it.) I haven't made the time to write much since having kids, so this felt like a big undertaking. But it was surprisingly possible. A couple hours a day, 6 days a week, and it added up to what I needed.

Maybe the most amazing part is that I was able to sit down at the end of December, plan out a few things I could cut out of my life completely (Candy Crush , she admits with head hanging), and a few things I could do ahead of time (menu plan for the month, some of the cooking), and then with Daddy-o's help on the weekends, free up 2 or 3 hours a day. Makes me wonder what other big projects I could tackle if I decided to make them a priority. Some of the things I've neglected need to find their way back into my life (exercise time has been very short most days), but some should probably stay banished so I can get more done.

And now, it's time to get back to work: reading it over, editing, figuring out if things work, especially in the middle when I was writing day-to-day, trying to keep my momentum going even though I wasn't sure the story was moving how I'd expected. And I need a title. I didn't think that would be so hard, and was okay beginning without one, figuring it would come to me as I wrote, but I'm at the end and still feeling lost on that.

I've started reading it out loud to the kids. Actually, the second I typed the last word, they starting demanding to hear it, so we read the first chapter and I was happy that they liked the beginning (which I also really liked). They talked me into two more chapters, and dinner was a chaotic rush that night before Daddy-o and Bean had to run off to the church, but it was fun to get a little feedback immediately. They aren't loving it quite so much now because it isn't all sunshine and roses (Bug begged me to change a crucial plot point that the entire story depends on, and got really mad when I said I couldn't, but you have to have some drama or something to keep things interesting), but I'm hoping to win them back eventually.

Happy, Happy Birthday!

The birthday boy (and the kids who were way more crazy about his birthday than he was. Glad we have these three to keep life exciting, but WOW is that energy hard to keep up with.)

 

Our morning started off with dog puke, kids who have their volume permanently stuck on Loud, smoke alarms (yes, more than one) and a runaway dog, but Daddy-o got his biscuits and bacon for breakfast. I think the rest of his day was actually worse than that beginning (although probably quieter), but we can hope that the rest of this year won't follow suit.

 

And if anyone deserves to have a good year, I think it is Daddy-o. I am obviously biased, but really, he is pretty amazing. I've been noticing a lot lately how much he does, for me, for the kids, for work, and for the people he serves at church. He really is one of the most selfless people I know and things have been exhausting, at best, for the last couple years, but he keeps going. We're so lucky to have him in our lives and to get to celebrate with him today.

 

And with the birthday, we also ended our family sugar fast of the last 3.5 weeks with the Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake. It was a bit of an overload, not helped by the fact that the kids and I were snacking on all the bits as we made the cake and I don't think anyone actually finished all of theirs. Maybe we are getting used to fewer desserts and more vegetables.

Official Cub-Scouters

I feel like we have now been initiated into the world of scouting. Bug had his first Pinewood Derby a couple weeks ago. Of course, Daddy-o is an Eagle scout, so he has done a bit of scouting in his day, but even he had never done a Pinewood Derby before this one.

 

Daddy-o actually helped build two cars. Our cubmaster is pretty awesome and invited a few of the older sisters who'd never gotten to do this build their own cars and even had a bracket for them to compete in, so they got the whole experience along with all the scouts.

 

 

Bug was so  excited. He worked hard on his car and couldn't stop talking about the upcoming race.

There were trophies for so many categories that each of the boys got one.

I wasn't sure what to expect because I only have vague memories of sitting through my own brothers' Pinewood Derbys, and I can't say that they were terribly exciting. But it was fun to see how excited the kids were, and the fellow parents in the stands were keeping things funny enough that it ended up being a great morning. I think the whole family enjoyed it.

 

January Goals

After a slow start to my Year of Health, I decided to do something big for January. Because, you know, if you are failing at the small stuff, you might as well go for broke.

Actually, I had already planned my goal for this month, long before I realized what a struggle it was going to be to make the small changes I aimed for in the fall. And, honestly, it's a lot easier to get excited about something bigger.

So, on January 1, I started my own personal NaNoWriMo. (That's National Novel Writing Month for anyone who hasn't heard of it.)  Chris Baty started this challenge with 21 friends to write a 50,000 word novel in one month back in 1999, and its grown from there. The official challenge takes place in November, but I've never figured out how to make time for that much writing that close to the holidays. Besides, that would also mean that I'd hit the end of the month, frantically trying to finish while everyone else is eating turkey and watching football.

But January, cold, gray, post-holiday fun January, seemed like the perfect month to spend hours inside with a laptop and a cup of peppermint tea. There isn't typically a whole lot going on (although this year has been a little busier than I expected, but I think that's my life these days), and I'm motivated to be productive at the start of the year.

So, 2 weeks in, and I've got 27,121 words written. I'm actually a couple days ahead, which is a nice place to be at this point. It's been easier than I thought, both to find the time to write, and to come up with what to write. I get up by 6 most mornings to get a half hour in before I have to get the kids going for school, write during naptimes, and Peanut's preschool hours, I'm at the Panera a couple miles away, hammering out my highest word counts for the week.

I've still got a long way to go, though, and I'm a little nervous because my ideas for the beginning (and end) were more concrete than for this middle part. I'm kind writing day-to-day, coming up with the next chapter as I go, but I know where I need it all to go, so I'm pretty confident that if I just keep writing, I'll get there.

It's been really fun getting back into writing more than blog posts. I used to write stories all the time and have a dozen or so novels that I started when I was in middle and high school (only ever finished one, when I was about 12). I've been dabbling for the last year, and actually started another novel in September that I hope to come back to once this one is done, but I had to start a fresh one for the challenge of writing the whole first draft in 31 days.

 It may be garbage when it's done--this is a quantity over quality exercise--but I'll be able to say I did it. I'm hoping at least my own kids will like it. They're excited that I picked to write a children's book and keep begging me to tell them about it, but I can't talk about it until it's all done.

On top of the fact that I'm actually staying on target with my big goal for this month, I also decided that I'm tired of the laundry piles in my bedroom. For 15 days, I have folded and put away (or delivered to the correct person to fold and put away) every bit of laundry I've washed that day. Feels pretty good, and I can sit on the chair in our room which comes in handy for the writing.

The Age of 3

Peanut has been three for quite awhile now, and I have to say, even with the cuteness that goes along with this age, I do not think I'll miss it. I joke around with people about how difficult he can be, but really, it's not very funny to me anymore. I thought we'd crossed the hump back in November and was all to happy to be heading to the other side, but January hasn't been going so smoothly, either.

From what I can tell, the biggest problem seems to be miscommunication combined with the mentality of a dictator. He wants complete control over every aspect of both his life and the lives of all those around him, but we appear to not understand his every wish. Actually, I think we understand what he wants more often than he realizes, but we are just not always willing to give it to him. Either way, our responses are totally unacceptable to him.

He has pretty specific rules for how we should talk. The only problem is, they contradict one another, and he's not consistent with how or when they will be applied, so we're left guessing which of the following rules is the priority of the moment.

1. No saying, "Okay,", or any other reasonable response to a request or statement:

Peanut: When we get home, I want to have a 'dilla (quesadilla) for lunch.
Me: Okay
Peanut: Don't say that! You can't say that!

After a failed attempt to respond, he'll usually tell us exactly how to answer, but by the, he's already worked up.

2. Repeat everything he says, word for word:

Peanut: When we get home, I want to have a 'dilla for lunch.
Me: You want a 'dilla for lunch?
Peanut: NO! When we get home, I want to have a 'dilla for lunch.
Me: When we get home, you want to have a 'dilla?
Peanut: For lunch! When we get home, I want to have a 'dilla for lunch!
Me: When we get home, you want to have a 'dilla for lunch?
Peanut: Don't say that! I was saying that!

3. You must respond to everything he says.

This one, I actually am okay with, in general. It's not polite to ignore people and not respond to them when they are talking. But after the above conversation, I'll usually sit there quietly, totally lost on what words I can possibly use that won't be met with more screaming, and I can't come up with anything. But then he starts yelling about how I'm not talking to him. Just can't win.

These are real conversations I have had more times than I care to think about in the last 6 months. And heaven help us if he asks for something that we have to say "No" to. The above example is all about something I say yes to every single day.

These rules probably cover about 50% of our conversations these days. The other 50% are slightly more typical--funny stuff mixed in with complaints and ridiculous requests. And on a good day, my blood pressure can stay in a healthy area. The other days, I truly start to think that this kid is going to be the death of me.

Today, we hit a new low. We were taking the kids to school, which is almost always a very rough spot in our day. He's not a big car fan, not much of a breakfast fan, or waking up fan, and nothing is ever going right in his mind (I should admire his persistence at having things his way--you'd think after doing this for 1.5 years, he'd have the routine down by now and would have accepted it). So this morning, in an effort to create some positive conversation during a lull in the screaming, I started in with a, "So, Peanut. . ." His response? "You interrupted me!" I apologized right away, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were saying anything." His reply was epic, "I was thinking about saying something!" Now, even when he isn't talking, I'm supposed to wait silently.

Seriously, it feels like the rules for conversation with a 3 year old are just too complex for an adult. I know I'm not supposed to wish away their childhoods, and I will miss having little kids in my home, I'm sure, but there are some of these things that I am just not going to miss. Like the things that make my head want to explode.

I'm only writing this all down so someday I can remember to share it with him because I think that the only way for a child to even come close to understanding how much their parents love them is if they know at least a little of what they put those parents through, right? ;)

Growing Up

Look who graduated from nursery! Today was his first day in the Sunbeam class at church (kids who are 3). They start to transition them a few weeks before, but with Peanut, it wasn't going well. In fact, he totally refused to leave the nursery the last two weeks when they took the kids to visit the big kid meeting. So I was a little worried today, and he didn't disappoint. Started crying as soon as we got in the room and clung to me and said he wouldn't stay.
But luckily, he did stay (I have to go teach my own class during that time, so I couldn't stay with him) and even seemed happy when I picked him up. I was the one who felt a little sad. It's the end of our nursery days. This little guy is growing up too fast.

Dinosaurs in Motion

Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa, we made a trip to Discovery Place over the break to see the temporary Dinosaurs in Motion exhibit.

 

It was very impressive, both as artwork and hands on science. The different dino skeletons, made of metal, were controlled by levers and pulleys.

 

The kids loved it! Well, the older two loved it. Peanut was a little nervous and wanted to be held most of the time, but I don't really blame him for that. And he did smile once he was safely in Daddy-o's arms.

 

The kids had fun figuring out how to make the various dinosaurs move.

The adults had fun with it, too ;)

It was really a fun way to experience dinosaurs. We've done our share of dino explorations over the years since we have a dino obsessed 8 year old, but this was something a little new.

 

And while we were there, we got to see the dino 3-D movie, the frog exhibit, and a few of our favorite normal exhibits. We hadn't been down to Discovery Place in about a year, so the kids were happy to make it back. 

Although, this sight, at Costco, was arguably the most exciting thing we saw that day. Gas under $2!

New Year, New Goals

After partying hard (if you can call playing Scattegories with the kids until 10:30 and then vegging out with the TV until midnight partying), sleeping in, and getting a lazy start to the new year this morning, it was time to write some goals.

As some of you might remember, after my birthday this last year, I decided to spend a year working towards better overall health. Well, overall, it hasn't been my biggest success. The better eating habits of August haven't stuck yet, September's planning did lead to a gym membership and a decent workout schedule until a recent injury has side-lined me temporarily, October's attempts at sleeping got me no where, November didn't really change how I come in contact with germs, and while I did try to slow down in December (and did say "yes" more to the kids, even if they didn't notice), I don't know that I quite found that zen I was hoping to discover.

BUT, I still feel like this is a worthwhile challenge and goal. So I'm plugging away at the rest of the months, with some adaptations, and plan to revisit the ones that didn't go so well at the end of this year. Considering how the last 5 months have gone, I'm probably crazy to have such high hopes for January, except I'm really, really excited about this one and have done some prep work to get ready, so I am hopeful. And it's a new year and all, time for a new leaf. But that goal is too big to get lost in this post, so it will get it's own post soon.

 And, because I love a healthy habit challenge, and am a sucker for checklists, charts, and daily evaluations, I signed up for an 8-week challenge a friend is hosting that should get my year started off strong. It's full of little habits, but they're the kind that have the potential to make every day feel like I actually accomplished something.

I think that other than all the shorter term goals I'm planning to work on this year, the only year long thing I came up with that I really want to work on is folding the laundry every day. I'm done having a pile in my room 6 days a week and then spending a couple hours folding it all at once. I'll keep you posted on how long that habit takes to break. It's been years in the making.

I have high hopes for this year. I don't ever pick a theme or key-word for the year, but this year, I've been feeling like I'm ready to take on my bad habits and try some things I've put off for years, because I feel like this is the year that I can actually do these things. I'm feeling ready to conquer my life. So that would have to be my word--CONQUER!

New Year's Eve Partying

This year, New Year's Eve was a hodge-podge of activities. We started off with a snack-y dinner: chips & bean dip, veggies & dip, mini quiche, spinach and kale bites, & chicken sticks. While we ate, we counted down to the new year with London, which has become a tradition for us. Mainly, because it means that the kids can celebrate without having to stay up until midnight. Plus, they do have good fireworks with their celebration :)

 

Then, it was time for Peanut to go to bed, Daddy-o to get ready to head over to the church youth party for a little bit, and Bean, Bug and I to start some on the fun.

First up, sugar overload. We hadn't gotten around to making a gingerbread house this year, so when I was at Michaels and noticed the Christmas stuff 70% off, I decided to pick up a kit for $3.

They worked hard for awhile, then the house started falling apart, and the kids started falling apart, and they decided to eat a bunch of the candy.

In the end, we were able to prop the roof pieces up with candy canes and get a photo of the progress before everyone quit.

 

Then, we pulled out Scattergories and got several rounds in before 10:30 when I insisted the kids go to bed. I'm sure Bean could make it to midnight these days, but she would probably be a grouch the next day and Bug would be a disaster if he even made it, which is doubtful, so we've still enforced a bedtime every year. Figure we might as well until we can't get away with it anymore.

 

Luckily, Daddy-o came home soon after they went to bed, or I might have fallen asleep, too. For the last 3 years, he's felt like he needed to spend a couple hours with the party for the youth that he works with at church, so he disappears for the beginning of the night, and then typically has to wake me up to ring in the new year.

 

I know, we're party animals. :) What can I say--I'm not much of a night person, especially if I'm hanging out alone. Luckily, the kids are getting older and can help keep me up for a few hours. Maybe someday we'll all be able to go party together.