WARNING: This is long, and kind of babbles. Don't feel like you have to read it ;)
OK, before anyone starts getting confused, no, I have not converted to Catholocism or any other religion besides LDS. And no, Mormons do not typically celebrate
Lent. However, I usually do. It started when I was in college and working at
Park City Ski Resort. Mardi Gras is a pretty big deal up there--apparently people from New Orleans like to come skiing that week and escape the craziness that is going on in their own home town. Only they bring a lot of the craziness with them, so we had people throwing beads to us as they got off the lift and in general, it was a very festive week. Well, as I started investigating the holiday more and found its connection to Lent, I decided that if I was going to experience the pagan side of the holiday, I should try out the religious side of it as well. And honestly, I love the idea behind Lent--in our church, we fast once a month for 2 meals, which is the same idea, but I don't think I can overdo the sacrificing part of my life. At least, I'm currently no where close to overdoing it and welcome the extra opportunity.
In the past, I've usually given up chocolate. I think that is a fairly common--chocolate, alcohol, red meat (the last two aren't really an indulgence for me so it would be pretty pointless). But this year, I decided that instead of just giving up something that I love, but offers no redeeming value when forfeited , I am going to do something that should actually accomplish the purpose of practicing Lent: "Today, some people give up a vice of theirs, add something that will bring them closer to God, and often give the time or money spent doing that to
charitable purposes or organizations."
So, this year I decided to focus on something that I actually feel is interfering with my life. Something that will hopefully make me a better person if I sacrifice for these 40 days. I'm going to give up the computer until post-kids'-bedtime.
I have no interest in giving up the computer completely--and I don't think that would be beneficial because there are a lot of positive things that I gain from being able to use my computer and the internet--connecting with family and friends, a vast source of information on any topic I could possibly need to know about, my calendar, scrapbooking journaling, ordering gifts and clothing. . . The internet really is a marvelous invention.
But somehow, in the last few years, I have become completely dependant. 14 years ago, I used the internet for the first time. I remember we had 50 free hours from AOL--dial-upand it probably took most of those 50 hours for me to find the information I needed for the oral report I was preparing on endangered species. In college, I used it some towards the end, but mostly it was a way for me to email friends who were at different schools.
Then, 7 years ago, I started working at a lab. A government run lab that, as many government businesses seem to be, was not entirely efficient and employed me for a year to do about 6 months worth of work. I was bored and had to find something to do for the hours I was there--and, thus, my bad internet habits began.
Then, just over 4 years ago, I quit my fulltime job and had already put my masters degree on hold for a year, all to handle the constant naseau and throwing up that came with our little Bean. We had just gotten hi-speed internet so I could work from home (honestly, the smell in my office sent me running for the bathroom literally the moment I stepped in the door, making it impossible for me to get anything done if I went in) and I was pretty happy beginning my stay-at-home-mom career a few months early. I had things to keep me busy--getting ready for a baby, continuing to work part time at 3 different jobs, moving and settling into a new apartment.
Then, Bean came along, and as anyone who has lived with a newborn day and night knows, its hard to leave the house for awhile, making face-to-face interactions difficult, but there is always email and IMing--and then you don't even have to worry about the screaming baby interrupting the conversation like they will with phone calls.
And mine didn't like to sleep, so the difficulties continued which led me to the amazing support group I found at Baby Whisperer. I spent a LOT of time researching sleep training and ways to understnad this crazy little baby of mine. And found a group of new moms to share the horrors and wonders with, who I still keep in contact with 3.5 years later.
Then, I squeezed in a few hobbies and interests which led to more time on the internet learning and finding new ideas and then sharing them with new friends. Next, a move that took me away from my "real-life" friends who actually lived close enough to hang out with. Then, another baby--more friends who were also having newborns at the time, more research and support on the lack of sleep--and winter in a place that actually HAS winter, so hibernation, of course. And honestly, I am just not someone who loves playing "princesses saving the bunny" yet again. I get bored. It was fun when I was 6, and I'm so glad I have a child with an amazing imagination, but we both need friends our own age to truly appreciate our interests. And I found keeping up with friends online to be the easiest course of action.
Basically, my virtual life has taken over a lot of my life, more than I would like. And I am finally at the point that I want to do something about it. It's not that I think any of my online pursuits are bad-- I have made a lot of really good friends through this and they have stretched me and taught me things that I wouldn't have bothered with on my own. I have re-found my creativity, which I hadn't seen in years. Its just the amount of time that I've dedicated to them. And the times of day that I am using.
So, the things I am hoping, and expecting, to see happen in the next few weeks:
*I am going to find more time during my day. I know there is a set amount of time each day--that I have the same amount as everyone else, but I'm going to win back some hours for myself. I've actually been more conscious lately of what a lie it is when I say, "I didn't have time to . . .(fill in the blank with a million things I want/need to do". Sure, some days I really didn't have anytime--especially if the project is big. But I ALWAYS waste some time, so the little 5 minute things could be accomplished if I really wanted to.
*I'm going to find ways to interact with my children that fulfill all of us--all this extra time in the day is going to need to be filled somehow, so time for that creative hat to come on and come up with activities to keep us all busy and happy.
*I am going to have to become more organized and time efficient. I use the computer for EVERYTHING. I can still do all of this, but I need to take a few minutes the night before to figure out what I need the following day. My Household Operations manual is going to get some good use this month! And because there are only so many hours that I'm awake after the kids are in bed, I'm going to have to whittle my hours of surfing down to what I really need. Just a little prioritizing.
*I hope I can finish some fun projects for myself. Instead of continuing to read about and amass this huge list of things I want to try or make or do, I'm actually going to spend some time doing them. Of course, this will probably be limited to naptime mostly, so I'm not promising to have a whole lot to show for this. Especially since the "nap" part of naptime tends to distract me and suddenly I find that Bean is the only one
not asleep.
*Maybe this will give me a little more push to get out of the house and socialize. With people. In real life. Maybe not since its still cold and snowy. But I can hope. A few 12 hour days of nothing but 3-year-old talk will probably force me out.
So, I'll still be around and I'll keep updating this blog--just don't email me with questions that need answers that day. :)
Bugagoo was a little wary at first--he didn't quite trust the glass to keep the monkey away from him. But he has just recently learned quite a few animal noises so animals are pretty fascinating at the moment. He especially got a kick out of the bear going "night-night" (he signs for that)--it gave him the giggles.
